A pastor and marital counselor on intimacy and significance in shared leadeship in marriage. Excerpt:
“If [a husband] is threatened by the prospect of an open and intimate life with an equal, then he is probably not seeking significance, but is instead seeking superiority… an appeal to human pride and avarice.”
To my dear marriage counseling client…
You seem to be intent on telling me several indicting things about your spouse (the person sitting next to you on my couch), and perhaps you are trying to convince me of these things. You may also be trying to hurt them in some way. You are succeeding at the latter, but not at the former. Do you believe, if you convince me of how awful they are, that they will be declared guilty, and as though by magic, they will be returned to you, thoroughly scolded, and transformed back into the dutiful and compliant spouse you thought you were getting so long ago? That’s not how this whole thing works.
As you vent, I think you may have some valid points about your spouse, but I wonder at the same time. How much of what you are saying are you hearing for the…
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That’s really insightful, Tim. I was particularly struck by his final sentence: “If we turn in the names we call ourselves, and the names we call each other, and we receive from Christ the names, and the characters he has for us, then in Him, we have significance, and we can validate it in others.” Thanks for sharing this.
He showed great wisdom in that post, Jeannie.
That’s how Biblical/Nouthetic Counseling works.
Happily, Gerald avoids this completely.