The Cost of Kindness



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6 Responses to The Cost of Kindness

  1. This is a really good reminder for all of us, Tim. After my mom died, a dear friend whom I hadn’t seen in a couple of years never contacted me about my loss. Her daughters knew and sent condolences on FB; she reads my blog and could have commented on one of my posts about my mom’s death; but there was nothing. This spring I saw her (ironically, at the funeral of a mutual friend’s parent) and we had a good talk. She said she was sorry for not contacting me and that she should have done so. I appreciated her words, and I truly do forgive her. But the way she said it (and she’s said this more than once in the past) was “There’s just not enough of me to go around.” I understand the demands of family and work and all of it, and the need for personal boundaries — I get all that. But reaching out to a friend with a simple word of sympathy (an email note or FB comment, even) costs me NOTHING. It doesn’t deplete me or take a chunk out of me that now isn’t available for something/someone else.. I don’t have to skimp on some other area of my life by telling a friend I’m sorry for her loss and thinking of her. This episode was very helpful to me and has changed the way I think about showing kindness and concern. Your post brought this to mind again today.

    • Tim says:

      “I don’t have to skimp on some other area of my life by telling a friend I’m sorry for her loss and thinking of her.” Good insight, Jeannie. Taking a moment to reach out doesn’t mean we’ve lost that moment. It means we’ve enriched it.

    • Pastor Bob says:

      In empathizing with your loss, the oddity of the friend is puzzling indeed.
      I teach that often to avoid confusion one needs to take a mere second of additional time to insure accuracy.
      In sharing with others, it takes but a few minutes.
      For many priorities, for the puzzled (not necessarily offended) we have an opportunity to forgive, and to pray and to forgive.

  2. Pastor Bob says:

    Thumbs up!

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