The Best Woman In My Life (plus update #5 on my Dad)

[For those who have followed the updates on my dad’s recovery and our plans to move him to assisted living near us (see update #5 at the end of this post) you know how much I rely on my wife. She is physically and emotionally strong, getting things done when I would have floundered without her. Seriously floundered. This post from three years ago when we faced a less dire medical emergency describes just how wonderful she is.]


“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10.)

“Do you want me to go with you?”

It was a simple question in a complicated conversation.

I’ll back up.

There’s been a lot going on lately. To start with, there’s work. My job has its stresses.

And as a few of you know, my father went in for heart surgery two weeks ago today. At 89, I’m just glad the doctors wanted to do the operation and not merely treat his condition medically.

Then there was the four-day conference I was helping to organize. It finished day before yesterday. I had two meetings to prepare for on the first day, and a class to teach on Saturday. Plus there were other classes and meetings for me to attend as well.

A lot going on, as I said. Pick any two of them and I probably would not be writing this post. But all three together became overwhelming.

I started feeling the stress a few weeks ago, I can see that now. That was when work started getting more intense and my dad was diagnosed with a bad valve in his aorta. I’d been working on the conference for months as part of the planning committee charged with creating a program of classes and speakers that would draw judges from around the state to one site for four days.

Then Dad went into surgery. The report afterward was very good, and he was discharged three days later. My sister was able to stay with him at his place a few nights. But then she had to return to work and I took over.

So on the days that I was supposed to be preparing for the meetings I had to run – paying attention to final details for the conference I was helping to program and finishing the presentation for the class I was scheduled to teach – I was now going to go out of town and stay with my father for three nights.

The stress came to a head.

Trouble sleeping, headaches, appetite off, mood changes, you name it and I experienced it in the week my dad was in the hospital and into the following week as I packed up to go to his place. The timing meant, in fact, that I was not only packing for a few nights with him but for the conference too.

And it meant a full week away from home, away from my wife.

“Do you want me to go with you?” she asked.

What she meant was:

Do you want me to get a sub for school this week?

Do you want me to stay with you in your father’s one-bedroom apartment for three nights?

Do you want me to come to the conference and be there waiting when you get out of meetings and classes and programs?

Do you want me to drop everything and help? Because you know I will.

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Yes, oh please Lord, yes!

Actual answer: “Thanks, but I don’t think you need to.”

And what I meant was:

I know that as important as the kids at school are to you, you would tend to me.

I know you’d sleep on an air mattress on the living room floor with me at Dad’s place and never complain.

I know that you’d find something to do while I’m in session at the conference, and always be ready for me when I get out.

I know that you’d drop everything for me.

And here’s what else I meant:

The best woman I know is the woman I married.

So back to the question posed in the verse at the top of this page: Who can find such a wife? God can. Who did he let marry her? Me.

I am rich.

Dad in 2011

Dad in 2011


Update #5 – Dad had asked before his emergency surgery for us to make this move happen for him. He is looking forward to being in the same town we are, and his new place is only a few minutes from our house. The staff there are wonderful and the nursing director has already met with dad and said he is a perfect fit for them. Plus, his new apartment has the exact same layout as the one he had for the last ten years. God  is truly at work as we go through this.


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9 Responses to The Best Woman In My Life (plus update #5 on my Dad)

  1. Thankful to hear that all is going well with your dad. Having older parents and in-laws, I know how stressful change can be, so I’m glad that he has the same apartment layout as he’s had for 10 years! And I’d have to agree, your wife is pretty wonderful! She was 40 years ago too. 🙂

    • Tim says:

      Ain’t that the truth, Jan? Say hi to Doug for us! We have been praying for the new school year and all you two are doing at the college.

  2. Bronwyn Lea says:

    I had the great joy of running into your lovely wife this morning at Safeway. She really is marvelous.

  3. Wonderful biblical example you both are!

    Lots of prayer went into my downsizing and it has paid off for me to live by family. Yes I think the Lord had a hand in my apartment and now in my rehab facility. Not only this, but my dog Ziggy is blessing a family that lost a dog about a month ago.

  4. Janet says:

    And I couldn’t ask for a better sister in law !

  5. That’s a very nice picture of your dad, Tim. It’s good to know that things are coming together well for his move — and to re-read this tribute to your wife, who sounds like a wonderful person.

  6. I appreciate your wonderful observations even during a period of dire stress and need: your recognition that words cannot begin to capture all that is going on in your world, that those same words have multiple, profound (and love-saturated) meanings, and the depth of appreciation that overcame you when you realized that were not alone in feeling the pressure and stress and change going on… That’s a lot right there. This is clearly a challenging time for all of you, but many sweet and memorable things have already arisen out of the midst of it.

    Blessings to you, your wife, your father and your family. Even in trial, you are a testimony.

  7. Pingback: How I Got by with a Lot of Help from My Friends | Tim's Blog – Just One Train Wreck After Another

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