The Summer Reading List of Books to Avoid at All Costs

June is almost over and since lots of bloggers are posting their summer reading lists I thought I’d offer my own as a service to my readers. My list though is of books that should never be on anyone’s reading list. Not that any of these have a chance of being read. They haven’t even been written.

But if they were, I’d advise against.

1983 – George Orwell’s little known prequel to 1984, where society is full of not nice people, but better than it will be the following year

Stan of Green Gables – The adventures and travails of a young orphan boy who wanders Prince Edward Island distressed that no one – including himself – can figure out how to spell his name with an E on the end.

Julius’s Caesar – How one ancient Roman invented the salad … and then got stabbed by a hungry friend, prompting the dying Julius to ask, “You ate too, Brutus?”

Jane’s Heir – After a poor governess inherits a windfall, she tries to find a suitable heir herself, but ends up blowing the whole wad rebuilding her blind ex-boss’s burned down wreck of a house.

The Agony and the Ambivalence – Michelangelo Buonarroti can’t decide whether to paint the ceiling or the walls. It’s agonizing.

Any titles to add? Feel free to list them in the comments.

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9 Responses to The Summer Reading List of Books to Avoid at All Costs

  1. California Native says:

    The Princess by Nicoletta Machiavelli: A woman’s guide on how to subterfuge her husband’s authority in a patriarchal society.

  2. Yay, another list of books that should never have been written or read. My favourite of course is Stan of Green Gables — but I also like Jane’s Heir and would add another take on that classic tale: JANE EYREHEAD, with these captivating lines:

    Jane: “I mean, do you think because I’m, like, poor, obscure, plain, and little, that I’m totally soulless and heartless? As if!”
    Mr. Rochester: “I ask you to pass through life at my side — to be my second self, and best earthly companion.”
    Jane: “Like, whatevs.”

  3. Persis says:

    “Stan of Green Gables” LOL

    The Condos at Pooh Corner – Eeyore takes a course from Trump University with disastrous results.
    Where the Wild Things Aren’t – The sad tale of the Dodo bird and other extinct fowl.
    The Fellowship of the Ringlets – To perm or not to perm? That is the question, and a band of fearless hairstylists seek the answer.

  4. Mary Anne says:

    Moby Duck–He’s huge. He’s ghastly white. Hear his dreadful cry over the seas: AFLAC!

    And when you’re tired of not reading, here’s a summer blockbuster movie to avoid at all costs: Snapes on a Plane. Which, as any Harry Potter fan can attest, is a MUCH scarier movie than the original version . . . =8-O

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