Top 5 Pick-Up Lines for Summer Romance – Results Guaranteed!

[From the archives.]

The warm weather is coming and many people are hoping for hot summer romance. I’ve got just the thing to make your dreams come true with these guaranteed* pick-up lines.

  1. “Baby, the only thing that could top your beautiful body is a toupee.”
  2. “Has anyone ever told you your breath smells delicious … like bacony-goodness delicious?”
  3. “If you tell me your measurements in inches I can convert them to the metric system in my head.”
  4. “My idea of fun is you, me and my parents at an all you can eat buffet. When can you pick us up?”
  5. “Are you a famous director, because I’d like to follow your directions to your house. No seriously, I need directions to your house. To pick you up for a date, of course. What do you mean, ‘What date?’ Come on, just give me the directions. OK, OK, no need to go into the women’s restroom. Hey, do you think your friend at the bar wants to go out with me?”


Please share your pick-up lines in the comments. There are a lot of people needing your help with their plans for a summer romance!


*The fine print: Any guarantees related to use of these guaranteed pick-up lines are nothing more than guarantees that nothing whatsoever is guaranteed.


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13 Responses to Top 5 Pick-Up Lines for Summer Romance – Results Guaranteed!

  1. This one is from an Italian learning podcast: “Can you give me directions?”
    “Which directions?”
    “The directions to your heart.”

  2. DragonLady says:

    When I was in Tech School, I was out to dinner with a friend. She and I were both married, and in our 20’s and so naturally we clicked and hung out together while the majority of our still teenager and single fellow students did what they did. Anyway, these 2 guys come over to our table for 2, and one of the guys (who was also sporting a wedding ring) said to me, “Was your father a thief?” First, he triggered me because my father was in prison at the time, but much much worse than theft. So I looked at him all crazy (or at least it felt that way), and said slowly and cautiously, “No?” That’s when he said, “He took all the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes.” And before I could stop myself, I busted out laughing in this dude’s face. And he still didn’t go away until I had to get blunt.

  3. I notice you didn’t specify what KIND of results…

    I don’t think I could top (or is it bottom?) DragonLady’s example. That’s TERRIBLE!

  4. No. 3 is the sort of thing I can imagine my son saying. Only it would be more along the lines of ‘when is your birthday – I can tell you what time the sun rises and sets on that day’. Autism rools! And I’m pretty sure my husband could have easily said no. 4. He thinks ‘all you can eat’ is a challenge. My little nephew is just the same – it’s a family trait o_O
    My elder daughter, who is a very pretty girl, was 8 when she was first asked to be a boy’s girlfriend. She said NO WAY and he pushed her into a ditch!

    • Tim says:

      Pushing her into a ditch seems rather extreme, poor girl!

      Your son and husband sound like they have their own charms, and charms that are much more likely to win hearts.

  5. Mary Anne says:

    I prefer some of the medieval pick-up lines from Geoffrey Chaucer hath a Blog:

    -Do sheriffs administere thee to those who breke the kinges peace? Bycause thou lookst “fyne.”

    -Yf thou were a latyn tretise ich wolde putte thee in the vernacular.

    -Thou lookst so mvch lyk an aungel that the friares haue lefte the roome yn terror!

    -Woldstow haue me shyfte thyne voweles?

    Subtle and sophisticated, that’s the ticket . . . 8-D

  6. Laura Droege says:

    Love the “fine print”, Tim. That’s the lawyer in you making certain that no one can sue you when these lines go wrong!

  7. Pastor Bob says:

    How about he opposite?
    She says, “Do you like may haircut?”
    His response: “Wow! Cool, which one?”
    (He really dislikes attempts to fish for compliments.)

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