Top 5 Books Never Written In 2015

Every blogger writes a year-end list of the best of something, so here is my list of the top five books left unwritten in 2015.

#5 – Tom Jones’ Diary: Ne’er-do-well Tom writes down every amorous encounter of his life. His great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter Bridget discovers the long-lost tome. She chucks it and re-writes it with herself as the main character.

#4 – Middlemarch of the Penguins: Penguins inhabit a small rural town in late-Georgian England. Once they realize there are no icebergs likely to come their way, they move to Antarctica. It’s a long march.

#3 – The Brothers Carrot-Top: Redheaded Russian brothers wrestle with faith, family and whether to pursue a career in stand-up comedy. One chooses the latter and moves to Hollywood. His over-bearing father makes life difficult for the others.

#2 – The Adventures of Diane Sawyer: A plucky youth growing up along the banks of the Mississippi in 19th Century Missouri has one adventure after another, using her imagination and tenacity to stay one step ahead of the adults in her life. Then she becomes a newscaster.

#1 – Tess of the Dumbledores: Peasant girl Tess gets the idea in her head that she’s the long-lost daughter of a famous wizarding couple. She’s not, and her mind gets muddled when she realizes she’s merely a muggle. Her mother berates her for not marrying Harry Potter (or at least Ron Weasley) when she had the chance.


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12 Responses to Top 5 Books Never Written In 2015

  1. Lonesome Glove: Cowboys set out on an epic quest to find a missing riding glove, fighting epidermal dryness and a fleeting brush with frostbite along the way.

  2. Jeannie says:

    Great as always, Tim! I especially like Middlemarch of the Penguins. Here’s my unwritten classic:

    Anna Karenikournikova: Tennis star married to boring aristocrat meets a count. He’s handsome, so he has the advantage, and soon it’s two, love. He courts her but she won’t leave her husband. Their affair deteriorates — poor Anna just can NOT get a break. She dies tragically; maybe it’s society’s fault.

  3. This is such a fantastic list!!!

  4. Pingback: Weekend Java Awards 01.02.16(!) |

  5. Loura Shares A Story says:

    Lol, love it!

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