If Beatles Songs Were Written In Elizabethan Times

The Beatles were on the radio when I was a kid. Not on oldies stations. This was back when they were still together and recording and touring and, frankly, when two of them were not yet deceased.

To some people, that seems like the Dark Ages. “Wow, you heard Beatles songs on the radio when they were brand new? What was it like back then?”

I started a hashtag on Twitter and Facebook to explain this aging phenomenon. It all started when I posted this meme I made:

anachronistic beatles

Here are some of the tweets and Facebook comments that I and others came up with after that. (Those contributed by others are given attribution.) Your job is to translate them into the real lyric or song title in the comments. Winners will receive the fabulously illusory and non-existent prize of 10,000 interwebz, a currency redeemable at no place on or off the planet. Half credit will be awarded for answers that come close.

  1. Infant, thou mayest take the reins of my carriage.
  2. I am capable of weathering the storm, provided I receive even the most minuscule amount of assistance from my bosom companions. (Jeannie Prinsen.)
  3. Furthermore, thy feathered fowl canst utter words in musical tones with musical inflections and modulations. (Scott Stewart.)
  4. The lady doteth upon thee, verily, verily, verily.
  5. Render aid, I am in need of a personage. Render aid, not just any personage will suffice.
  6. Thou dost not giveth me thine riches. (Jeff Fiet.)
  7. The many lonely personages, from where dost cometh them all? (Jeff Fiet.)
  8. Thou sayeth yea; I sayeth nay. Thou sayeth desist; I sayeth proceed, proceed, proceed.
  9. The entirety of what thou needest is devotion. (Jeannie Prinsen.)
  10. I desire to take thy hand in mine own.
  11. She traveleth by day, her fare purchased so as to returneth not.
  12. Here approacheth Appolo’s orb.
  13. When I achieve three score and four.
  14. Lad, ’tis a burdensome load thou must bear.
  15. Is it not fair, this timber of the Norseman’s land?
  16. Allow it to exist. (Rob Grayson.)
  17. Rotate around a stationary point while uttering a loud cry. (Rob Grayson.)
  18. Assemble. (Rob Grayson.)
  19. Heigh-ho Jude, beest thou not fearful. (Kenny Ray Pierce.)
  20. Tis been a heavy daybreak’s eventide. (Kenny ray Pierce.)

Bonus interwebz will be awarded for comments that come up with new anachronistic Beatles song titles or lyrics. Double bonus prizes for those that stump your blog host.


[For those wondering how I might possibly get a spiritual application out of this Beatles quiz, remember Aimee Byrd‘s sage observation: “Tim Fall can spiritualize anything.” So here goes.

This quiz shows that everything old is new again, or in the words of the writer of Ecclesiastes,

What has been will be again,
    what has been done will be done again;
    there is nothing new under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 1:9.)

Aimee has been proven right once again.]


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29 Responses to If Beatles Songs Were Written In Elizabethan Times

  1. yael58 says:

    Brilliant–love it. And yes, I’m still trying to figure some of these out. lol

  2. nmcdonal says:

    I’ve got all but 3, 11, 14, 15 and 17. I’ll get back on those.

  3. Tuija says:

    I was a child in the 1970’s, and I don’t think I’ve consciously listened to Beatles albums since the 1980’s. So no, I don’t get all of these, but I must have heard my fair share of the Beatles because I can guess a few (without any googling):

    2. With a little help from my friends
    4. She loves you, yeah yeah yeah
    5. Help, I need somebody, help, not just anybody….(?)
    7. Eleanor Rigby
    9. All you need is love
    10. I want to hold your hand
    11. She’s got a ticket to ride (?)
    12. Here comes the sun
    13. When I’m sixty-four
    16. Let it be
    19. Hey Jude
    20. A hard day’s night

  4. jean47 says:

    Tim, and all those who are credited with Ye Olde English translations of Beatles lyrics:

    I doffest mine cap to thee, thou lords and ladies, in honor.

    I, too, am a child of the 1960’s. I listened to Yellow Submarine, and other favorite Beatle songs, on a transistor radio.
    Before a transistor radio became a trendy, retro item for hipsters to collect.
    Nothing against hipsters, either.
    I wish I still had one.

    Also, as a kid, I listened to them on the car radio, with an old timey turney knob thingie.
    And, of course, vinyl.
    On an old portable mono turntable.
    I still have some scratchy Beatles albums.
    And a better turntable from 1982.

    Any hoo…

    I love the meme you created. I have encountered the illustration before, in another meme.
    It said, “Sir Gangster, thine pantaloons art descending.”

    True story!

    Again, thank you for this enjoyable blog post. I need all the levity and enjoyment I can get these days.

  5. Persis says:

    Here’s one:
    Lowly clodpate upon yon brae.

  6. Easy peasy, Tim,…if you love the Beatles.
    1. Baby, you can drive my car.
    2. I get by with a little help from my friends.
    3. And your bird can sing.
    4. She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.
    5. Help, I need somebody, help, not just anybody.
    6. You never give me your money.
    7. All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
    8. You say yes, I say no, you say stop, but I say go, go , go.
    9. All you need is love.
    10. I want to hold your hand.
    11. She’s a day tripper, one way ticket, yeah.
    12. Here comes the sun.
    13. When I’m 64.
    14. Boy, you’re gonna carry that weight. (a long time)
    15. Isn’t it good, Norwegian wood.
    16. Let it be.
    17. Twist and shout.
    18. Come together.
    19. Hey Jude, don’t be afraid.
    20. It’s been a hard day’s night.

    Here are a few for YOU:
    1. Reclining on a maize morsel.
    2. Existence is carefree with orbs shut.
    3. When he gazed terribly, his mater interrupted.
    4. Everyone has an item to conceal with the exception of myself and my simian.
    5. At the time I arrive at the base, I return to the pinnacle of the smooth sloping surface.

  7. Ruth says:

    Good fun, thankyou, but I have nothing clever to ad, although I manage to translate most of them, just the light hearted scriptural link you made was very creative! Can we have some more of these some time? Makes asthma and cortisone seem much more fun!

  8. Kris says:

    I got ’em all! Awesome fun! I’d post the answers, but they’ve all been posted at this point.

    And now for mine!

    1. What hath you terminated, Dormered House Will? (from The ongoing narrative of Dormered House Will)
    2. Hark! Dost thou wish to apprehend confidential information?
    3. Clang! Clang! Upon his noggin did the precious-metal bludgeon of Maxwell descend!
    4. He is me, as he is you and I am you, and collectively are we all.

    • Tim says:

      You get all the interwebz I have, Kris!

      Great lines too. I got them all. Here’s another way I came up with #1 – William the Cottager, what hast thou slain?

  9. Mary Anne says:

    Now I know how many Tims it takes to fill the Albert Hall . . . ;-D

  10. Pingback: Weekend Java Awards 12.05.15 | Scribblepreach.com

  11. Larry Beahm says:

    Very much fun. What is all this talk of Google? A wise [old] man should have the answers forthwith. 🙂

  12. stpetric says:

    1. Baby You Can Drive My Car
    2. I Get by With a Little Help From my Friends
    3. And Your Bird Can Sing
    4. She Loves You
    5. Help, I need somebody. Help, not just anybody.
    6. You Never Give Me Your Money
    7. All the lonely people, where do they all come from? (“from where dost cometh them all” makes no sense, BTW. “Dost” is 2nd person singular, “cometh” is 3rd person singular, and the subject of the sentence is 3rd person plural!)
    8. You say yes, I say no. You say stop, I say go, go, go (Same criticism!)
    9. All You Need Is Love
    10. I Want to Hold Your Hand
    11. She’s a day tripper, a one-way ticket, yeah!
    12. Here Comes the Sun
    13. When I’m 64
    14. Boy, you’ve got to carry that weight.
    15. Isn’t it good, Norwegian wood?
    16. Let It Be
    17. Twist and Shout
    18. Come Together
    19. Hey Jude, don’t be afraid
    20. It’s been a hard day’s night

    • Tim says:

      Well done, Petric! You get a bajillion interwebz for so many correct answers, but I have to deduct a kajillion for omitting “yeah, yeah, yeah” in answer #4 (“verily, verily, verily” in the clue). Don’t worry, that still leaves you with more interwebz than one person could use in several lifetimes. Use them wisely!

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