Top 10 Rejected Valentine’s Day Candy Hearts

The top 10 rejected candy hearts for Valentine’s Day:

10. Of all the people in the world, you’re one of them

9. You’re the condensation on my windshield

8. You make me forget my indigestion

7. I’d walk half a block just to get to you

6. If words could express how I feel about you, I’d say … um … hold on, it was right there on the tip of my tongue

5. I can’t come up with more than a dozen reasons we shouldn’t go out sometime

4. There are beautiful people in my life, and then there’s you 

3. You’re the reason the pages of my diary are blank

2. I’d wax my back for you

And speaking of wax, the #1 rejected candy heart is:

1. You make my ear wax sizzle


[Please add more in the comments!]

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15 Responses to Top 10 Rejected Valentine’s Day Candy Hearts

  1. JD Blom says:

    Now I have to go make my wife a new valentine’s day card:) Too funny!

  2. Jeannie says:

    I just looked out my window this morning for inspiration:
    “Your love is like a plow clearing snowbanks from my heart”
    “Snowflakes are unique but you’re uniquer”

  3. My husband gave me a card that says ‘only you can make my heart go boom boom’. I opened it, thinking of the lentils of last night’s dinner, and mentally filled in another line with another part of the anatomy. In our last house we had an en-suite bathroom. Every morning I was awakened by the sun coming up over the horizon, the swifts chirruping in their little nest outside the window… and my husband sitting on the throne. The very definition of true love: cleaning the toilet after your husband has used it. Wedded bliss ❤

  4. Pastor Bob says:

    For the top 10 …. OYE!

    For you and all who read these words he posted now and in the past…

    Happy Valentines Day!!

  5. michellevl says:


  6. jaimieramsey says:

    “If I could spend my life with anyone, it would be anyone but you.”

    Ooh, ouch…I feel mean just writing that!

  7. Mary Anne says:

    From the Richard III Twitter feed:

    “Wars of Roses are red,
    Smothered nephews are blue,
    I’d wait 500 years
    Under a carpark for you!”

    • Tim says:

      He had such a romantic soul, that Richard III.

      • Mary Anne says:

        I went to the UK this summer and spent a weekend in Leicester–my friends and I went to the Battle of Bosworth reenactment and the new Richard III Visitors’ Centre. Fascinating stuff. Highly recommend both. Richard was very hospitable to us! 😉

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