“The table was piled high with bacon” – a word game

See if you can come up with a conclusion to any or all of these sentences.

  • “The table was piled high with bacon, yet …”
  • “My left sock and my right sock weren’t speaking to one another, and …”
  • “When I left the station with my favorite kumquat, I …”
  • “It wasn’t the pounding headaches I missed so much as …”
  • “The best thing about discovering the incompatibility of coffee and motor oil is …”

The best entry wins 10,000 interwebz.* The second best wins 20,000 interwebz, the third best 30,000 and so on.

***

*Interwebz are imaginary, fanciful, worthless and accepted nowhere as tender, legal or otherwise. Enjoy.

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21 Responses to “The table was piled high with bacon” – a word game

  1. The best thing about discovering the incompatibility of coffee and motor oil is the synergy of too much of both taken at once and their effects on bathroom behavior.

    TMI?

  2. The table was piled high with bacon, yet the small size of the table indicated a lack of appreciation for the heavenly meat-candy.

  3. When I left the station with my favorite kumquat, I knew that my journey would be a fruitful one.

  4. My left sock and my right sock weren’t speaking to one another, and the shoes were only enabling the conflict

  5. It wasn’t the pounding headaches I missed so much as the beautiful flashes of light before my eyes.

  6. Maureen says:

    “The table was piled high with bacon, yet for all the hoards of folks eating at the table the mound never changed – for this was heaven.”
    “My left sock and my right sock weren’t speaking to one another, whereupon we had good old fashioned come-to-Jesus-meeting, since I could not deal with another matchless sock in the dryer.”
    “When I left the station with my favorite kumquat, I kissed that man good-bye knowing he would never, ever share my passion.”
    “It wasn’t the pounding headaches I missed so much as the pitterpatter of pajama feet reminding me why moms don’t sleep.”
    “The best thing about discovering the incompatibility of coffee and motor oil is that I now know how far back my husband’s eyes will roll.”

  7. Jeannie says:

    – “The table was piled high with bacon, yet it was all crispy. ‘I ORDERED LIMP!’ I said, while my family members rolled their eyes at yet another instance of my high-maintenanceness.”
    – “My left sock and my right sock weren’t speaking to one another, and my left hand didn’t know what my right hand was doing either. I felt … torn.”
    – “When I left the station with my favorite kumquat, I breathed a sigh of contentment: this had been another memorable vacation with my fruitheart.”
    – “It wasn’t the pounding headaches I missed so much as the comforting presence of the construction crew who had been jackhammering from 7-5 for the last six weeks.”
    – “The best thing about discovering the incompatibility of coffee and motor oil is the calories saved from drinking it [the coffee, that is] black.”

    • Tim says:

      Now you’ve got me wanting to use “high-maintenanceness” in a sentence of my own, Jeannie. A bountiful supply of interwebz to you, piled higher than the bacon on the table (limp or crispy).

  8. From someone else I shared this with…. they just decided to merge all the sentences…

    “The table was piled high with bacon, yet my left sock and my right sock weren’t speaking to one another, and, when I left the station with my favorite kumquat, it wasn’t the pounding headaches I missed so much as the best thing about discovering the incompatibility of coffee and motor oil.”

  9. michellevl says:

    It wasn’t the pounding headaches I missed so much as the way the house shook on its foundations when both of my sons practiced Blitzkrieg Bop over and over again on their drum sets in the basement.

    Not catchy. But a true story.

  10. Doug says:

    “The table was piled high with bacon, yet …” the flies seemed to prefer the neighborhood of the butcher’s beard.

    The fact that “[m]y left sock and my right sock weren’t speaking to one another …” must account for the disappearance of the former and the languishing of the latter at the back of the drawer.

    “When I left the station with my favorite kumquat, I …” was optimistic that it would survive being smuggled across the border.

    “It wasn’t the pounding headaches I missed so much as …” the surprise of waking up in unexpected surroundings.

    “The best thing about discovering the incompatibility of coffee and motor oil is …” the savings on both medical and mechanical expenses.

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