Top 5 Pick-Up Lines – Results Guaranteed!

The warm weather is here and many people are hoping for summer romance. I’ve got just the thing to make your dreams come true with these guaranteed* pick-up lines.

  1. “Baby, the only thing that could top your beautiful body is a toupee.”
  2. “My idea of fun is you, me and my parents at an all you can eat buffet.”
  3. “Has anyone ever told you your breath smells delicious … like bacony-goodness delicious?”
  4. “If you tell me your measurements in inches I can convert them to the metric system in my head.”
  5. “Are you a famous director, because I’d like to follow your directions to your house. No seriously, I need directions to your house. To pick you up for a date, of course. What do you mean, ‘What date’? Come on, just give me the directions. OK, OK, no need to go into the women’s restroom; it’s not like I’ve never followed a woman into one you know. Yes, I know what a restraining order is. Why do women always ask me that. Hey, do you think your friend at the bar wants to go out with me?”


Please share your pick-up lines in the comments. There are a lot of people needing our help with their plans for a summer romance!


*The fine print: Any guarantees related to use of these guaranteed pick-up lines are nothing more than guarantees that nothing whatsoever is guaranteed.

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11 Responses to Top 5 Pick-Up Lines – Results Guaranteed!

  1. Jeannie says:

    “Heaven must be missing an angel — or possibly several, because they’re playing the Braves in Atlanta tomorrow night.”

  2. Ruth says:

    Haha, all great! Toupee line a killer. No. 5 talks so much, you could duck and he wouldn’t notice, very funny descent into complete paranoia!

  3. Adriana says:

    “Hey there, can I borrow your toothbrush?”
    I have to credit Bronwyn Lea for this one!

  4. Larus Press says:

    In a world that’s gone crazy with harassment issues, it’s great to see some humour about it!

    • Tim says:

      I see too many real harassment issues in court to say they’re blown out of proportion generally; a lot of people are truly in need of the court’s protection, and then there are some cases that are not true harassment at all of course.

      Then again, I’ve also seen that clueless guy in #5 often back in my college days!

  5. The worst pick-up line I ever heard isn’t fit to print. The fact that my 14 year old self was pleased by the attention while being repulsed by the request is rather sad.

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