The Best Woman I Know

“Do you want me to go with you?”

It was a simple question in a complicated conversation.

I’ll back up.

There’s been a lot going on lately. To start with, there’s work. My job has its stresses.

And as a few of you know, my father went in for heart surgery two weeks ago today. At 89, I’m just glad the doctors wanted to do the operation and not merely treat his condition medically.

Then there was the four-day conference I was helping to organize. It finished day before yesterday. I had two meetings to prepare for on the first day, and a class to teach on Saturday. Plus there were other classes and meetings for me to attend as well.

A lot going on, as I said. Pick any two of them and I probably would not be writing this post. But all three together became overwhelming.

I started feeling the stress a few weeks ago, I can see that now. That was when work started getting more intense and my dad was diagnosed with a bad valve in his aorta. I’d been working on the conference for months as part of the planning committee charged with creating a program of classes and speakers that would draw judges from around the state to one site for four days.

Then Dad went into surgery. The report afterward was very good, and he was discharged three days later. My sister was able to stay with him at his place a few nights. But then she had to return to work and I took over.

So on the days that I was supposed to be preparing for the meetings I had to run – paying attention to final details for the conference I was helping to program and finishing the presentation for the class I was scheduled to teach – I was now going to go out of town and stay with my father for three nights.

The stress came to a head.

Trouble sleeping, headaches, appetite off, mood changes, you name it and I experienced it in the week my dad was in the hospital and into the following week as I packed up to go to his place. The timing meant, in fact, that I was not only packing for a few nights with him but for the conference too.

And it meant a full week away from home, away from my wife.

“Do you want me to go with you?” she asked.

What she meant was:

Do you want me to get a sub for school this week?

Do you want me to stay with you in your father’s one-bedroom apartment for three nights?

Do you want me to come to the conference and be there waiting when you get out of meetings and classes and programs?

Do you want me to drop everything and help? Because you know I will.

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Yes, oh please Lord, yes!

Actual answer: “Thanks, but I don’t think you need to.”

And what I meant was:

I know that as important as the kids at school are to you, you would tend to me.

I know you’d sleep on an air mattress on the living room floor with me at Dad’s place and never complain.

I know that you’d find something to do while I’m in session at the conference, and always be ready for me when I get out.

I know that you’d drop everything for me.

And here’s what else I meant:

The best woman I know is the woman I married.

So back to the question posed in the verse at the top of this page: Who can find such a wife? God can. Who did he let marry her? Me.

I am rich.

***

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10.)

***

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17 Responses to The Best Woman I Know

  1. michellevl says:

    What a lovely tribute, Tim!

    Praying for rest in the midst of the increased stress for you both.

  2. Excellent tribute to your wife. Glad your dad’s surgery went well. You even managed to post on this blog during your hectic weeks!

  3. Jeannie says:

    That’s really nice, Tim — what a beautiful way to honour your wife. You are blessed. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up….” (Eccles. 4:9-10)

  4. Adriana says:

    Your gratitude is really touching, Tim. I hope your wife has read this! It would be lovely to interact with her here in the comments section sometime! So glad your dad’s procedure went well. Prayers for his continued healing and return to strength.

  5. Mary Anne says:

    Thinking of you, Tim. My dad had a quintuple bypass in 2007 and is still with us, large as life (and twice as much fun). Hugs to you and your excellent wife.

  6. jamie says:

    I will pray for you and your dad, and give praise for the blessing of the wonderful Liz.

  7. Tim, I’m sorry for the stresses that are adding up for you, and particularly with your dad. I find myself in the same boat with my mom and surprisingly, that stress 5-6 wks ago launched a non-stop headache for me too. (I’m probably glowing now from all the radiation).

    What a great way to honor your wife Tim, and your transparency, especially at the end, is very touching.

    As a side note, my husband is Jewish, so every Friday evening he reads Pr 31:1-31 as part of his blessing to me. It really encourages me to be a better wife, and even though I wince at v15, he assures me the rest is all true. 😉

  8. oops, that’s pr 31:10-31, must be the radiation…

  9. Nancy Van Wyck says:

    Well I must say you have been through a lot and have the perfect wife who would give up the things she loves for you, Tim. God is there for you too and all of our prayers are going up for you. Things can only get better so take it slow and you can soon say its all behind you as you go back to your daily routine.

  10. Tim says:

    Thank you all for such wonderful support. I value your prayers greatly. Spoke to Dad tonight and he said he’s feeling stronger every day. My wife and I are enjoying being back under the same roof too! Praises.

  11. This is beautiful. What a wonderful wife you have! Thank you for sharing this! Also, you’re in my prayers.

  12. Larus Press says:

    Beautiful. I saw recently on google a ‘poem’ I’ll share:
    ‘A woman’s beautiful face attracts a flirter,
    A woman’s beautiful heart attracts a lover,
    A woman’s beautiful character attracts a man’ (Chinna Sharma)

  13. This is wonderful on every level. So glad to hear your dad’s recovering well.

  14. Pingback: What On earth Do I Have To Be Thankful For? | Tim's Blog – Just One Train Wreck After Another

  15. Pingback: When It’s Easy To Be Thankful – Jesus, family, my readers | Tim's Blog – Just One Train Wreck After Another

  16. Ruth says:

    Who can find such a wonderful husband? God can. Who did he marry? Me!
    A wonderful story, and you are obviously that wonderful husband to your wonderful wife.
    My husband is a gem. Lately we have been having problems with my dad who is fading, but essentially healthy physically, but not emotionally.
    Husband takes us out at least weekly, drives places and chats to dad about everything possible.
    Dad loves it, he needs that man to man input.
    Then we have lunch at a place husband often finds and helps with food and such is a very subtle way, so dad is happy, well fed, clean from the odd spill of food, and his dignity in tact.
    Then it’s off for an amble around the shops, and before you know it, a technical discussion about something dad loves, clothes bought together as husband knows just what he needs, material, colour, fit, the lot!
    My 6’2″ husband and 5′ 6″ father chat, the former becoming a pretzel so dad can hear him, a lovely sight. His own father died at 70 after 30 years of dementia and related problems, so my husband understands dad, and dad says he is his third son.
    I couldn’t possibly do this! Dad needs a man who treats him like he is just another man, without qualifying this with – old, deaf, slower, eccentric, forgetful, repetitive – and add what you will to lists about age.
    I know dad loses all that age and is 60 again, much his former self, and happy.
    We visit a lot, husband always there to fix things, chat, walk around the house discussing things technical, and memories abound.
    Dad is 87, husband 58, and they are equal because my husband can see the that person dad was, is still there, just in a well- worn frame.
    My, very wordy, but praise where praise is due, your post made me NEED to share all this. Thank you Tim, I’m sure your wife knows you are everything you know she is!

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