Married 26 Years and Looking Elsewhere for Happiness – an anniversary post

Rejoice in the wife of your youth. (Proverbs 5:18.)

The Wedding

We married in the little church my wife grew up in, on a hill overlooking San Diego Harbor. The most memorable moment was when the minister asked us if he was interrupting. Apparently we were talking to each other through the message he was trying to give about how wonderful marriage is. We apologized and he continued on.

The second most memorable moment is one that I didn’t really remember from the wedding but I did notice when we watched the video. It was taken from the back of the sanctuary and thus showed showed us from the backside. At one point you can see my shoulders heaving up and down. As we watched, my wife said a friend of hers had mentioned that moment to her, saying she thought it was wonderful that I would be so overcome with emotion during the ceremony.

I wasn’t crying. I was laughing. So was my wife. It was another part of our conversation there in the front and one of us said something that both of us thought hilarious. She just did a better job keeping herself under control than I did.

Marriage Work

Long before I met my wife, a friend in college told me that she learned from her mother that marriage is hard work. It seems so obvious now, but that was the first time I ever heard that.

Now that we’ve been married 26 years today, I can say that I am not only aware of the concept but that my wife and I have lived it. Hard work doesn’t mean bad times, though. It just means hard work.

Sunday Clothes 1

We’ve worked at this together, raising our son and daughter, keeping a home, serving God and the people he puts in our lives. Sometimes that’s a blast, sometimes it’s a bit of a drudge (or a lot of a drudge), and almost always it takes work. But it’s work I like, and even if I might think on occasion that I’m not enjoying the work so much I end up finding that I like the results.

Happily Married, But Looking Elsewhere For My Happiness

My wife and children and our home are great. The richness of God’s blessings is evident all the time in our family. But I don’t look to my wife or our family as the source of our happiness. I look to God.

Marriage is not my idol and my wife is not my savior. Frankly, the times I am most aware of the love God has poured down on me in my marriage is when I am most focused on him, not on my wife. It is by enjoying him more that I end up enjoying her more too.

It’s an odd equation, but that’s how it works.

***

[More on how much God has blessed us here and much I love my wife here (this second one made her cry).]

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29 Responses to Married 26 Years and Looking Elsewhere for Happiness – an anniversary post

  1. lauradroege says:

    Congratulations on 26 years of marriage!

  2. Jeannie says:

    That part about the minister asking if he was interrupting says it all! 😀 Congratulations & blessings to you both, and many more!

  3. Aimee Byrd says:

    Congratulations, Tim! Marriage is work that I am honored to be involved in, especially when I know the true source of our happiness. It’s pretty awesome how God uses marriage in our sanctification. We are blessed.

    • Tim says:

      Good points Aimee. I hope to remember that God brings us together in marriage for his purposes, not our own.

      And speaking of marriage and love and being together:
      Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam …And wuv, twu wuv, will fowow you foweva…So tweasure your wuv.

  4. Adriana says:

    My parents anniversary is today too! 39 years! I’m grateful that, like you, they have each looked to God for happiness. Such a beautiful example of God’s grace. Hope you enjoy your special day! 🙂

  5. Erica M. says:

    Congratulations and Happy Anniversary! Hope you have many, many more.

    (By the by, it appears September is just the month for anniversaries. My brother’s was two days ago and mine is in three days. At least we don’t get bored. :P)

  6. Shalini says:

    Happy Anniversary to you and your wife Tim! Blessed by what you shared!

  7. janehinrichs says:

    Great post Tim! Thanks!! Marriage is work but the good results and the fruit we reap from sowing good things into it bless our entire worlds, not just us. We need more strong marriages, strong families. Thanks for being one of them….and Happy Anniversary!

  8. Love this post, and congratulations!

  9. Kathleen says:

    Happy Anniversary! Sweet testimony, going to pass it around to some newly marrieds I know 🙂

  10. Nancy Van Wyck says:

    Happy Anniversary to you and your wife. Your family sound so nice and I know its because you all follow God. God Bless each one of you.

  11. jamie says:

    Happy anniversary! Marriage is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and probably the thing that keeps me closest to God. It certainly keeps me going back to Him time and again! Good job making it through both the drudgery and the good times.

  12. Rev. Carlene Appel says:

    Happy Anniversary! Enjoyed the humorous clips from your wedding. When I officiated my dtr’s wedding there was a funny moment too—caught on picture.
    Next month is our 33rd anniversary. Don’t the years fly by!
    Hope you and your bride did something special to celebrate the day…like sharing laughter as you did 26 years ago at the altar.

    • Tim says:

      Thanks, Carlene. One way we celebrated was to have our son back home from Vietnam (more on that in another post), and then we all went out to dinner. We’ve almost always celebrated our anniversary by going out to dinner together as a family. Some years we’ve only had one or another of our kids with us, but we try to include them since for us the anniversary is a family matter. It was another great night out this year!

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