Women? Ha! Who needs ’em?

Back in college I had a particularly painful break-up. It wasn’t painful for her. She told me we were not going out any more and started dating another guy. But I’m not really sure of the chronology. She might have started dating the other guy and then told me we were done.

How did I respond? Perhaps not so surprisingly, I wrote. It’s not pretty, but here it is:

Women! Who needs them? Not me. All they do is take your heart and wad it up into a little ball and throw it on the floor and stomp on it. Well, you can try that with some other poor sap, but don’t try it around me. I’m done with women.

I was dating someone new within a month.

God’s Plan Includes Women? Who Knew?

God spent six days creating everything and repeatedly pronounced every day’s creation to be good. At the end, he looked on all he had made and said it was very good. It’s a bit surprising, then, for me to read:

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (Genesis 2:18, 21-22.)

Something in all that was very good was not good? Odd, that. But God knew what to do. He made a companion for the man. Did you notice that God did not make another man, a buddy that Adam could pal around with?* Good thing, too, because I imagine a world full of men without women would look like the campfire scene from Blazing Saddles.

But here’s the thing. I don’t think God created Eve solely for Adam’s benefit, nor that women are here just so men can marry them. I think God created them male and female in his own image (Genesis 1:27) because it takes men and women together to be the complete image bearers of God. There is something about women that reflects God in ways that men don’t and vice versa. It is not good for all of creation that man was here without woman.

So who needs women? We all do.

Who needs men? We all do.

And most importantly, who needs the God who created both women and men?

We all do.


*I didn’t notice this either until it was pointed out in a sermon I recently heard.

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18 Responses to Women? Ha! Who needs ’em?

  1. Aimee Byrd says:

    Thank you, Tim.

  2. I join Aimee in saying thank you for this post.

    And I must add — Your college note is heartbreakingly sweet. I feel a pang when I think of the possibility that my sons could be spurned in love someday. How could any girl EVER dump my babies?! Yet I confess, I dumped my husband (as nicely as possible!) after our first four dates.

  3. Mary Anne says:

    I was once kvetching about STILL being single and an acquaintance simpered at me that “God is all you need.” (This person was married, of course.) I responded that apparently not even God thinks that He is all I need. I pointed out what you’ve mentioned in this post: that “it is not good that the man should be alone” was the very first thing that God found “not good”—and this was before the Fall, when the God and man relationship was in its pure untarnished form. Yet God apparently thought He could and should provide even more.

    For some reason, nobody liked to discuss my single status with me after that . . . *g*

    • Tim says:

      That just shows that some people will trot out bad advice based on partial understanding of Scripture, and when corrected they’ll resent the effort.* You can discuss your single status as much as you like here, MA.


      *There, how’s that for kvetching?

    • Jeannie says:

      Mary Anne I thought that was a great reply to your acquaintance and a great example of “afflicting the comfortable”! Your reference to “God is all you need” reminds me of many contemporary worship songs that say just that about God. Now I am a worship-team member, and I LOVE old and new worship songs of all kinds. But the idea that God is “all I need” has become so cliched. It just seems really weird to me to talk about the Lord of the Universe who created me, and gives me every breath I breathe, by saying He’s all I need (thanks God for meeting my expectations). So your post is just another example of how that phrase is bandied about so easily. Oh and the other thing I was going to say is that I hate it when people simper. (AND bandy.)

    • cathyallen says:

      Thank you for saying what I feel, and have encountered, Mary Anne…

  4. KSP says:

    I spent a few days in jail once (don’t worry, it was for a good cause!), and all that time around only women made me really, really, really appreciate the other sex more. Glad it wasn’t more than just a few days!

  5. Astamarina says:

    What do you make of 1 Cor. 7 where Paul says to the unmarried that it is good for them to stay single and all that? It’s rather confusing to me, especially in light of the verses you highlighted. I have a jumble of thoughts on why these passages are in the Bible, but I am still somewhat baffled as to what to make of them.

    • Tim says:

      Good question, Astamarina. Paul’s statement there actually supports my main premise, which is that the creation of men and women has significance far beyond the marriage state. It is not good for creation as a whole that there be only one or the other. That means it is good for single people that there are both men and women in this world, even though they may never marry anyone. Seeing Genesis 2:18 solely through the marriage lens is way too limited a view, I think.

    • Mary Anne says:

      I think, too, that Paul had in mind all the little cares and compromises (and yes, let’s picture it whole, all the joys and fun and pleasures) of living with another person; it absorbs a LOT of time and energy. Paul’s ministry was so all-encompassing that it probably was better for him to be able to remain contented as a single man, and he probably thought that if someone was content to be single, they’d have that much more time to concentrate on what would please the Lord.

      Of course, being single and wishing you could find that special person occupies a lot of time and energy too . . . 😉

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